Imagine one of your earliest memories as a child. Do you have it in mind? Are you thinking of a tender hug from mom or a fun-filled pillow fight with a sibling? Now replace that image with one of an unstable uncle's hand on your under-developed genitalia, while he whispers things in your ear that you've never heard, but instinctively know aren't quite right. This is the horrific truth for many people.
Although the rate of victimization of children has decreased in recent years, according to the U.S. government's child welfare statistics, still more than 80,000 children are the victims of sexual abuse in the U.S. each year.
Mary, 25, a graduate student at The University of Memphis, who asked not to be identified, said that her first memory of being molested was when she was 3 or 4. She said she was sexually abused by an uncle on her mother's side of the family.
"I'm pretty sure that he was probably abusing me before I can even remember," Mary said.
She said she remembers him giving her and her sister money for candy when they were visiting him and her aunt at their Southaven, Miss., home on holidays. She said that was his way of "keeping us quiet." She said she and her sister became each other's support system - "we talked about everything."
"I'm still angry about it," Mary said. "I felt gross and violated, but you have to realize that it's not your fault."
Mary said she finds herself having a very low tolerance for unsuitable comments from men.
"If I'm around a male and he says something inappropriate or in a sexual manner, I get so angry," she said. "I think it's because I'm still really angry about what happened."
Reginald, 20, a sophomore at the U of M who asked not to be identified, said he was raped and molested by his four foster brothers from the time he was 4 until he was 7.
"At the time, I really didn't know anything was wrong because I was so young," Reginald said. "I felt physical pain while it was happening, but mentally I was okay, because I didn't know."
He said by the time he found out that anything was wrong, it was too late because he had gone to a new foster home.
"I think that I was so desperate for friendship, since I had been alone for most of my life, that if that is what they wanted to do, then I was okay with it," Reginald said.
Dr. Paul Neal, clinical psychologist with the Christian Psychological Center, said there are many issues that follow sexual abuse.
"Patients who have been abused suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, and they have difficulty trusting people," Neal said. "They have a real problem with trusting any authority figure after sexual abuse, which is why they usually have problems telling their parents. Predators target children who don't have good support systems in their lives."
He said that people should know that this problem isn't new - it's just being more publicized, which is a good thing.
"This will allow for more predators to be stopped the first time, so there won't be a repeat offense," Neal said. "This is a very repetitious crime."
He said that in small children, parents should look out for signs like headaches, stomach aches and problems with friends and school. In teens, you will see a withdrawal from peers and increased irritability. These are the indicators of emotional problems, he said.
"It is very important for parents to keep an open line with their kids so that they can catch these early warning signs," Neal said.
Although most children are abused by family or caregivers, more and more sexual predators are finding new ways to get to kids with the help of the Internet.
The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children says that 34 percent of youths online have had unwanted exposure to sexual material, such as pictures of naked people having sex. However, only 27 percent of those youths who encounter unwanted sexual material told a parent or guardian.
"Good communication is key, because quick intervention is crucial with sexual abuse," Neal said.
Neal said that the Internet has become a big problem for teens. Predators try to pick up kids online more often because it has the element of anonymity.
"Sexual abuse can happen anytime someone has access to children," Neal said. "Parents should put computers in social areas of the home."
According to America's Most Wanted.com, the Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act passed on July 2006 was a milestone for the protection of children. They posted its accomplishments on the site saying: "The Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act will create a national sex offender registry, authorize grants to help local law enforcement agencies beef up registry systems, assign more FBI agents to sex crimes and require DNA samples of sex offenders.
Andrea Hardaway, family service counselor for the Department of Human Services, said that three out of the 10 cases she handles deal with sexual abuse.
She said that they try to help victims deal with their issues and get them some financial help, because a lot of them are low income.
"I tell them that by coming in for counseling and help, they have made the first step," Hardaway said.
Although family/caregivers and the Internet are the main sources of sexual abuse, there are incidents of child sexual abuse occurring in churches and schools also.
Zippora Wiley, senior special education major, said since she is planning to become a teacher, she can't understand how a teacher could do that to a student.
"Any teacher that would do that to a student has serious psychological problems," Wiley said.
She said these teachers are just taking advantage of someone younger and more easily influenced.
"A teacher did that to a student at my middle school, and they are married now," Wiley said. "I really don't know what to think about that, because a teacher would have to have psychological issues for that."
Psychologist Neal said that people should consider that predators are targeting specific people.
"Predators are looking for someone who is the same age as them emotionally," he said. "They will say that they are just looking for someone to love."
As for Reginald and Mary, they say their memories can never be erased. They are forced to deal with the abuse everyday even now.
"I wonder why nothing ever happened to him," Mary said. "His son was shot and killed, and he moved to a trailer in Arkansas with my aunt and he works as a manager at K-Mart."
Reginald said he still deals with the "what ifs" in his day-to-day life.
"I dream of myself stopping it and getting beat up and dealing with the shame of the abuse," he said. "I sit and think, 'Why did I think it was right?'"
