If Ryan Reynolds, Luis Guzman, Andy Milonakis and Dane Cook worked at my restaurant on a daily basis, I would not be writing this right now.
College would no longer be necessary, because my job would be funny enough to keep me around indefinitely.
This is Shenanigan's, the generic chain-store restaurant in which the hilarious new Rob McKittrick film "Waiting" takes place.
It is populated with a motley collection of restaurant cliches and stereotypes that hit surprisingly close to the mark.
The character types are instantly recognizable for anyone who has ever been in the service industry. There are the bitter, alcoholic waitresses, angry megalomaniacal cooks, hot lesbian bartenders, prepubescent punk busboys and, of course, underage hostesses.
The protagonist Dean (Justin Long) wakes up one day to realize that it has been a long time since high school and he is still waiting tables. When he learns that Chet, a former classmate, now has a lucrative career in electrical engineering, he is thrown into turmoil about his dead-end life.
Dean's friend Monty (Ryan Reynolds) is in the same exact boat, but couldn't care less. More concerned with partying and coercing underage girls into having sex, Monty is put in charge of training Mitch (John Francis Daley), a new employee on his first day.
Thus the rest of the cast is introduced to Mitch and a variety of situations ensue that those in the service industry deal with everyday. Things such as being berated by customers, having power-crazed tyrannical bosses and dating your co-workers.
Then the worst possible thing that can keep a person stuck in a job happens: Dean is promoted to management.
As the film is resolved and the long shift ends, Dean is forced to decide whether or not to free himself from the quagmire that is the restaurant cash-trap.
This film is not for everyone. It is crass, vulgar and completely disgusting.
As Monty says to Mitch in the first five minutes, "How do you feel about full frontal nudity?"
Yes, be ready for it.
But far more offensive than the nudity itself are the extremely graphic descriptions of what one can do with oneself while in this state. I'm not going to give away the secrets of "the game."
I will just let Luis Guzman explain the brain, the chicken wing and the goat.
This being said, there are those that absolutely must see "Waiting."
If you can approach a table and switch from a furious tirade of expletives to a fixed plastic smile in less than a second, this movie is for you.
If you have ever told a customer that "We close in 10 minutes" and they reply, "Oh fantastic!" this movie is for you.
If you have ever waited on a table that didn't speak English, sang happy birthday to a crying eight-year-old, been left a $1 tip or even wondered exactly what happens when you are rude to your server, this movie is for you.
I daresay that you owe it to yourself.
"Waiting" opens Friday.
