Former Miss America Marilyn Van Derbur hopes to raise awareness for incest victims by speaking out about her experiences and triumph over her father.
She will be speaking at the Jewish Community Center of Memphis tonight at 6:30 p.m. The event will be sponsored by The Psychological Trauma and Wellness Center of Memphis and admission is free.
"I will share my story," Van Derbur said. "I was a victim of incest by my father from the age of five to 18 and I feel that the less we understand about the long-term trauma caused by rape, then the less support we will have. So I will speak about the long-term effects and the specific things everyone can do to help keep children safe."
Van Derbur was crowned Miss America in 1958 while she was a student at the University of Colorado, and she believes that it was this achievement that has allowed her to reach so many people.
"Because of my title I have so many opportunities," she said. "For a while I couldn't understand why I was crowned Miss America and why I had gone through this as a child, but now I know that this is my mission and why I was put on this earth."
Van Derbur has spoken in more than 235 cities and answered over 8,000 letters and thousands of e-mails from incest survivors. She is the first woman to receive the highest speaking award possible from the National Speakers Association for her work as a motivational speaker.
"I have spoken to more sexual abuse survivors than anyone in America," she said. "After every speech I give, I stay and people can tell me anything they want.
"I can't tell you how many times I have heard the sentence 'When I was six and my brother was 14...'
"This tells me that parents are not sitting down with their teenagers and explaining what is appropriate sexually and what is not," she said. "We don't know how to stop a man like my father, but we do know how to protect children from teenagers, and that is by talking."
According to The Psychological Trauma and Wellness Center of Memphis, one in four females will be sexually abused before the age of 18. The same occurs in one in five males.
The most common offenders are older brothers and teenage babysitters. Fourteen-year-olds make up the largest numbers of sex offenders of any age group.
In her new book "Miss America By Day," she describes how her father sexually abused her and tells the story of her journey from victim to survivor.
"I never thought about writing a book," she said. "I started journaling in order to work through memories and it was a way to help me cope with what happened.
"It just kept evolving and soon became a book. It has become the most important non-family thing I have done in my life."
Van Derbur never planned to go public with her story until a Denver newspaper featured it on the front page for six straight days. After that, people kept telling her that they didn't believe her and she realized that if people didn't believe her, there is no way they would believe a child.
"I want other victims of sexual abuse to know that I have no shame," she said. "The biggest issue with victims of sexual abuse is that they think that if people knew, then they wouldn't be accepted.
"However, we should be able to tell people our stories and have no shame. We should be proud of who we are."
For those who want more information on Marilyn Van Derbur and her new book, they can visit her website at www.missamericabyday.com. "We are thrilled to have an event like this in our community," said Cynthia Westcott, psychotherapist with The Psychological Trauma and Wellness Center of Memphis. "She is a hero and her story affects everyone."
