I wouldn't want to say it's easy being a woman. If I did, I'd probably get strung up by my own small intestine before I even finished this column.
It seems some women get so much attention from admiring menfolk they have been forced to devise a way to weed out some of the less-suitable suitors.
While there are women who would love the extra attention, those who are subjected to that onslaught have found that more is not always better when it comes to finding Mr. Right. So in order to keep some of the wolves of dating at bay, these princesses of popularity picked up on the fake engagement ring.
The New York Post recently reported that these faux rocks are the accessories of the season for fashionable ladies who just want to be left alone.
They drop $10 on a gaudy stone, apply to left ring finger and watch as one-time pursuers fade into the background.
One woman told the Post that she no longer has any trouble walking past leering/howling construction workers. When the guys stop shoveling dirt and start shoveling lines, she just flashes her ring and the curtain falls.
While I admire any innovation that makes single life easier, I wonder if these young ladies realize that not only may they be chasing away Mr. Wrong, their two-carat fake may also be dissuading real catches from making passes.
Let's face it: It would be madness for any guy to hit on a woman who is wearing an enormous jewel. As far as I can tell, most women who sport engagement rings are so proud of their new accessory you don't even have to see the ring to know they're spoken for.
Fortunately for men who have fallen victim to the fake engagement ring dupe and who spend their nights cold, lonely and without a tender woman's lap on which to lay their head, the "lap pillow" has been introduced in Tokyo.
Manufactured by Trane KK, the lap pillow resembles the look and feel of a woman's lap in a mini-skirt.
According to the company, which sells the dolls for under $100, single men have taken an instant liking to the pillows, and they have already shipped about 3,000 of them.
With innovative ideas such as the fake engagement ring and the fake woman's lap, it looks as if society is making strides toward segregating the sexes so much that our grandkids will want to huddle around the fireside when we're old and listen to tales about the archaic ritual of "dating."
That is, if we are able to get up off our fake women's laps long enough to go out and find a woman who's not wearing a faux engagement ring and might be interested in joining us for a cup of coffee sometime.
