For most students, college is a challenging demand of everydaylife, but for University of Memphis students trying to balance aspouse, full-time job and children with school, the challenges areheightened.
For Desiree and Terry Robertson, U of M graduate students,marriage has to be balanced along with school, their 4-year-oldchild and even their volunteer work.
"We've been married four years, and it is pretty tough right nowwith both of us in graduate school and our responsibilities withthe organizations on campus and in the community," said DesireeRobertson.
However, Robertson lives by a few key secrets to maintain ahealthy marriage.
"Be patient with each other and by all means communicate what itis that you both need out of the relationship," she said.
Robertson also recommends establishing a routine to keep thingstogether.
"Once you get a pattern down, it becomes routine," she said.
Delegating household chores and duties is also very important,Robertson said.
"I think when you are married, and one or both of you are inschool, there have to be shared responsibilities," she said. "Notone person can do all the cooking, cleaning or reading to thechildren."
For U of M senior Mischelle Roy, college is also just one of thethings on the daily to-do list.
"I have a husband who works full-time and goes to schoolpart-time, and I attend full-time," she said. "We also have twochildren."
Roy said there are several aspects to making a household work,most importantly communication.
"The most important thing we can do is talk about everything,"she said. "We have to know who will pick up the kids from school,who is going to cook supper, do we need to arrange for a babysitteron a certain day and who is going to need to use the computer towrite a paper."
The second thing for a couple to do is set aside time just foreach other, she said.
"We try to make time for each other," said Roy. "Shawn calls meon his break at work, and we catch up, and I will sometimes recordour favorite show and stay up late so we can watch ittogether."
Communication seems to be an essential aspect of everything fromchores to everyday finances, to successfully balancing a goodrelationship with other duties.
"Couples should start a budget and write it down because whenpeople see numbers, it is easier to see and open up communication,"said Rose Rubin, U of M professor of economics.
Studies have shown financial problems are a key reason fordivorce.
"When someone who is financially conservative marries a spendthrift, that could cause problems and marital dissension," Rubinsaid.
