Take advantage of the spring fling

I'm sure you are aware of this fabulous pre-summer phenomenon.It has something to do with pheromones ... or is it pollen? Anyway,the result is an overwhelming urge to connect with someone on aslightly superficial basis during your spring or summervacation.

There is a certain freedom that comes with knowing you willprobably never see the people you are with again. You can let looseand not hear about it for the next five years.

You can wear an outrageous outfit and not worry about runninginto your sister's cousin's boyfriend who happens to go to yourchurch.

Memphis isn't that small of a town, but it seems you can't goanywhere without seeing someone you know. There really is somethingto be said for anonymity, which is why the spring or summervacation is essential to every single person's life.

Why not leave the country if you're really going for it?

Foreigners have a distinct advantage when it comes to locatingthe all-important spring fling. Everyone is turned on by a foreignaccent (including a Southern drawl. Just say "ya'll" a lot andsmile. It works).

So if you are feeling a bit downtrodden or just lackingself-esteem, get out of this country or at least out of theSouth.

I suggest Spain if you're headed for Europe. Spain is the mostfun east of the Atlantic. Spain is also way ahead of ussexually.

Now don't go jumping to conclusions -- it was an observation,not a self-implanted experiment.

However, I did spend some time at the beach -- the mostlytopless beach. It's strange at first, but people there are quiteused to it.

Here, guys might be walking around staring, drooling andsporting wood, but it is not that big of a deal there.

Here in the Bible Belt however, when I dared to undo my bikinitop lying face down completely covered, I got stares like I was astripper at a Mormon church.

Hey, I just wanted to avoid the tan lines.

That experience made me realize we are way too obsessed withbeing proper. We all have the same equipment, yet are so sensitiveabout being naked.

I even have friends who won't undress in front of me, as if theyhave a third boob or something.

So I propose we speak freely. I think you can handle it. I willstill answer your questions about dating, but feel free to talkabout sex. I will do my best to give good and thorough advice.

And I will do this all naked! Just kidding.

E-mail me at tnamore@yahoo.com.