Even in the unpredictable world of sports, there are certaintruths that are universally held.
These truths include, but are not restricted to, the following:the Chicago Cubs will never win another World Series, no one willever go see the Montreal Expos play, and nachos will be bad at anystadium in America.
Similarly, sports journalists have a few certainties we can relyon as well. For instance, your next meal is just a press conferenceaway (and may include nachos), something unexpected will alter yourstory as deadline approaches, and if you cover collegiate athleticsin the summer, there will be times you simply have nothingsubstantive to write.
This is my predicament: I've got nothing.
I'm in the middle of the dreaded summer sports story slump, or"The Slump," as it is not-so-affectionately known. It happens everyyear, as predictable as a NBA player being charged with a felony ora toothless hockey smile.
The Slump starts innocently enough. Basketball season ends, butbaseball and track headline the spring sports schedule. But thosesports end in May or June, depending on how much success theprograms have, leaving nothing in the way of scheduledcompetition.
Well, the baseball team finished their season at 29-28, endingtheir season before the onset of summer school. Last week, Memphisplaced two entries into the Outdoor Track and Field Championships,with Gaute Myklebust finishing fourth nationally in discus and MateNemeth 11th in men's steeplechase.
The Slump officially began with Myklebust's final discus throwand won't end until football coach Tommy West is barkinginstructions at his players in August.
So what do journalists following collegiate athletics do duringthis time?
Go into hibernation?
Practice our birdcalls?
Eat nachos?
No, we figure out creative ways to feed the deadline monster. Wepray that something magically newsworthy will happen -- whatever ittakes to bridge the gap to those glorious football two-a-days andbeat The Slump.
And for awhile, it looked as though I just might do it.
For two weeks, I miraculously avoided The Slump thanks tounusual circumstances. Athletic Director R.C. Johnson announced anew women's basketball coach, Blair Savage-Lansden, to replace JoyeLee-McNelis. At about the same time, baseball coach Dave Andersonresigned.
This week, there were no miracles.
It started innocently enough; I had two decent story ideas ...until I followed up on them. Six e-mails, 15 phone calls and onemessage in a bottle later, I had nothing. I tried leaving messages,sending smoke signals and using the Pony Express. Stillnothing.
It seemed I was less popular than the guy who administers drugtests at the Olympics.
In retrospect, the unanswered e-mails and calls make sense.There's a reason they call it summer vacation. Unfortunately, theonly part I got was the summer.
So after plans A and B failed, it was off to plan C, which iswhat you see before you: a column about nothing.
Move over Seinfeld, you have company. The only difference isJerry and the gang kept making something out of nothing for 10years. I'm already worried about what to write next week.
Mr. Johnson, send me a coach!
Or at least a story idea and an interview.
Despite my difficulty this week, all I have to do is rememberThe Slump can't last forever and look into the not so distantfuture.
And with that first cramp in the August heat, I'll be there witha smile on my face, while I write with nothing to worry about.
Which, of course, is much better than worrying, while I writeabout nothing.
