I received an e-mail from Jane, who wants to know if she shouldbreak up with her long-time boyfriend, Joe, who is currentlyserving in the Army. Jane, here is your answer:
Jane,
I can personally identify with the difficulty of trying tomaintain a long distance relationship, even though the added stressof one of us being in the Army was not a factor. The confusion youfeel about whether the two of you should break up is notsurprising. Just be sure not to use that confusion as an excuse fordoing something you will regret. You said the only thing that youare certain of is your love for Joe, but that it might not beenough for you to hold on to. Why is it not enough? Put simply--temptation, which is perfectly okay. You are in a new place,meeting people (read: guys) everyday, and it is normal to feel avoid when love and affection are not present in your life. You needto remember, however, that your supplier of love and affection ispresent; he just isn't present right now.
You asked me if you should break up with him so that you canexplore other options. I do not know the answer to that question.You know your history with Joe, and you have to decide if therelationship is worth holding on to. However, I don't advisestaying with him and exploring other options all at the same time.It is not fair for you to have your cake and eat it too while Joeis in Kuwait. Is there any way for you to contact him and talk tohim about it? He would probably love to read a letter or hear fromyou. Who knows, there is a chance that once you explain everythingto him, he will completely understand how you feel and insist thatyou see other people.
I hope that everything works out for the best, whatever youdecide to do. Honestly, I have to say that I am in favor of yousticking it out with Joe. After all, someone once said that love islike a violin. The music may stop now and then, but the stringsremain forever.
Truly yours,
Brandi
