One of the most common phrases exchanged between high schoolbuddies is, "We'll be friends forever."
For many students, instead of eternity, the word forever means"Until we get to college."
College is an ever-changing environment and that includesfriendships, said Norman Rice, University of Memphis associateprofessor of counseling educational psychology research.
"They do not continue those relationships," Rice said of collegestudents and their high school chums. "They don't abruptly falloff, but over a few years they fall apart. People literally growapart."
Many students lose touch because of distance, but even friendswho attend the same college go through an identity formation, hesaid.
Rice said students start asking questions like, "Who am I?" and"What am I interested in?" and many times the answers lead them ina different direction than they were going in high school.
"They're in a crucial crossroad in life," he said. "It is thefirst time they have a real chance to establish themselves."
Many college students find themselves with nothing but the pastin common with former friends, he said. They build friendships withother students in their majors, classes or campusorganizations.
Bobbie Davis, sophomore biology major, thought her group of highschool friends would always be tight.
"We're not (close) though because we didn't have the samegoals," Davis said. "So when I talk to them, they're talking abouthaving babies and getting married, and I'm talking about graduateschool. We're just not on the same page anymore."
Some college students said with a little effort, high schoolfriendships can make the transition to post-graduation life.
"My high school friends and I were really close," said JamieBruckman, sophomore biology major. "We've been friends for a longtime. But it does take more work now."
Her group of five pals was strong, and even though some havemoved away, they still keep in touch, Bruckman said.
"I can say that I'm not as close to some of them as I used tobe," she said. "It takes work. E-mail is the best way (to keep intouch), and we take turns calling each other. They call and fill mein on the last few months of their lives."
Rice said it is possible for old friends to stay close, but mostfind themselves drawn to other people on campus, who come fromdifferent walks of life.
"They start developing relationships with other people," Ricesaid. "The fact that you went to the same high school isn't asimportant anymore. It's about who you are and where you are goingas opposed to where you've been."
