Just the other day I was talking with a couple of guy friends of mine and they mentioned the new “flock” of women on campus this year.
When I objected to the term “flock,” my friend changed his choice of word to “herd.” Of course these things were said jokingly but so what. It was either Freud or my aunt Ophilia who said that people express by way of humor the things they truly feel but are reluctant to admit they feel.
To these two Neanderthals, we are like buffalo innocently going about our business until a puffed up (glorified dog) comes along and decides to pick one off to satisfy his untamed urges.
But what’s a buffalo to do? How can we turn the tables and start having a little fun of our own? I have a few untamed urges myself. I need things too. Guys don’t have the market cornered when it comes to fleshly pursuits.
So the next time some guy comes your way smiling and being charming, just remember that Little Red Riding Hood was suckered in by the same species of dog.
Let’s continue to look sexy, continue to be playful and approachable. But we should take a page from the history books. When girls were “old-fashioned” and guys would woo them for weeks, months and even longer, guys would put their best foot forward and compete for only moments of a lady’s time.
Girls weren’t so quick to say yes when asked out. They weren’t so quick to grin in some guy’s face and they never let their true feelings be known until they were good and ready.
The men could only guess what was in a lady’s heart. I’m sure you know the feeling, girls, the feeling of not being sure where you stand in a relationship. And not being sure if the two of you are on the same wavelength.
All I propose is that we start dishing out some of what we’ve been given. So I have created the three-rule, rule for dating:
1. The three-day rule: Never accept a date when asked less than three days before the date.
2. The three-date rule: No open mouth kissing (and definitely no sex) during the first three dates.
3. The three-strike rule: Three strikes is two too many. Ditch the jerk the first time he lies to you, ignores you etc.
I’ve been living by their rules for the past two years and believe it or not, my market value has increased considerably. I have more choices and less drama. I control whom, when, where and what happens on my dates. I have more respect and more fun. It was either Dolomite or my aunt Ophilia who said, “Pimpin’ ain’t dead, it’s just under new management.”
