Insurance has gotten outrageous.
Earlier this year the MPD began enforcing a new law, which requires every driver to have car insurance.
They are even conducting road blocks, which hold up the already gridlocked traffic in Memphis.
And it’s not that I’m necessarily against the city requiring drivers to have car insurance, but if they are going to make it mandatory then they should provide an affordable way to pay for it.
Also on the rise is terrorism insurance.
You can insure you car, house or your small business against a terrorist attack.
I had never heard of terrorism insurance before Sept. 11, but I guess now, with public hysteria about terrorism at an all-time high, insurance companies are cashing in on it.
I think the entire idea of insurance is pessimistic.
Think about it.
You pay a significant amount of money each month just in case your house burns down, or just in case you fall off a bridge, in which case you get money back.
It’s like betting against yourself.
Auto, home, health, life, business, fire, and flood just some of the hundreds of different types of insurance that are available to the worried American citizen.
Why not provide insurance for something people can use?
Like an insurance for speeding tickets.
There is something I could use.
Every time I get a ticket, no matter if it’s from the Memphis Police Department or the over-zealous campus parking attendants, I would just file with my insurance company and then I wouldn’t be out $25 each time I park in the north parking lot.
How about tuition insurance?
That is something all of us could use.
Let’s say I fail my math class this semester, like I probably will, then the insurance company can pay me back the tuition money I paid to take the class.
I guess insuring my grades would be what they call, a “high-risk investment.”
Did you know that there is even a pet insurance?
I wonder how that works.
If I accidentally hit my dog, Ozzie, with my truck while backing out of the driveway in the morning, will the insurance company bring me a new dog?
And would it be insurance fraud if you had your dog put to sleep and tried to collect the insurance money on him?
If you can insure your pet then why can’t you insure condoms?
If they break and you had condom insurance then you could file for the money that child support will cost you for the child that you have conceived or for the medical bills to treat the STD which you might have contracted.
There is insurance for the media as well, they call it media libel.
It’s an insurance that I could actually use.
Media libel is an insurance that is provided to journalists, especially columnists, who offend people by simply Tellin’ It like It Is.
