I’ve been learning a lot in my life lately. I’ve gone through a couple of interesting episodes involving several idiots, and if that offends you, it should.
I’ve made some wonderful new acquaintances and I even learned a thing or two — some good and some surprising — about some old ones.
What’s eerie is that in the midst of all the commotion, something happened. Amid all the madness I had an out-of-body experience that climaxed with an amazing epiphany. And as I stood bedazzled looking at myself from outside of myself, it hit me:
A great number of the female gender wish they were men.
And I’m talking about born-with-female-parts, all-go-to- the-same-restroom women.
I don’t know what took me so long to figure the damn thing out, but I put two and two together and there were the facts.
A female professor of mine even helped me out. We were in class and in a discussion about marital roles and she blurted out how she loves when her husband cooks so she can come, ask what’s for dinner and FEEL LIKE A MAN.
When I asked her to repeat it, she declined, but several classmates heard the proclamation as well which was enough for me.
Let’s look a little harder. Have you ever heard a male deodorant advertisement mention it was strong enough for a woman?
I guess a female deodorant being strong enough for a man would aid in the quests to feel like men.
True, we all know a certain gender was blessed at birth — and those not so fortunate are forced to bear the shame of their destinies, but have some class.
How many men have you heard make the statement, “Anything a woman can do, I can do better?”
Or how many guys have tried to argue to sports coaches that they were good enough to make the gyrls squad?
So much for my revelation. I got a couple of things to air out since this will be the last Amore of the semester.
Women: I love you all.
Fellas: I appreciate the support — except for the pansies that had problems with “The Corner.”
Hataz: keep hatin’ me. It makes me stronger, and I strive even harder for excellence in all. Friday’s column was going to be my last salute, but since the tragedy of last week I had to let you all know I wasn’t going.
Supporters: keep showing me love. I was doubtful about doing the column next semester, but some of the wonderful e-mails and votes of confidence I’ve received lately may have changed my mind.
Finally, if somebody’s causing you displeasure, don’t continue to hurt.
If the relationship can’t be fixed, don’t sink with the ship.
This is what you do: Order something from the local shopping network, keep the box, package the problem maker up really nicely and KICK EM’ 2 DA CURB.
