Both kings and queens have their thrones, sacred places of worship where they reign supreme.
So do individuals like us —except our thrones and sacred places are our bathrooms.
Yes indeed, much like kings and queens carry royal papers and scepters, we carry newspapers, magazines and curling irons.
If you don’t believe me, just listen.
What’s the first thing you do when you get up in the morning?
You go to the bathroom, of course.
Whether it be to wash your face, prepare for the day or take care of business, that’s the first place you head.
So what about all those other people in the house who need to use it?
They may yell and scream and beat on the door, but rarely do they come in while you are occupying that space.
Why?
Cause it’s your place, your time and above all else, YOUR business.
Still not with me?
Think about all the things that go on in the bathroom.
Men shave, bathe, shower, read the magazines they never have time to read during the rest of the day and do a number of other activities.
If a man ever wants a little time alone, all he has to do is say he’s gotta go to the bathroom. No matter what conversation he’s in, the other men will respect this action, and the women will just let him go.
The bathroom is a definite secluded spot for women.
You guys shave, wax, bathe, shower, lotion up, pluck your eyebrows and then draw them back on and take your most critical comments from that lovely mirror on the wall, too.
A woman can easily spend hours in the bathroom getting ready for a small insignificant appointment — and she won’t come out until she has been cleared by the mascara mayor, the lipstick judge and the hair critic. All of these are coincidently her own self.
But it doesn’t quite stop there — the bathroom is not only used for this type of action.
There are plenty of other uses for the bathroom.
People put a lot of work into decorating their bathrooms with thousands of dollars worth of remodeling, hot tubs, jacuzzis, golden sink and tub fixtures, fish and bright colors all over the walls — it’s quite a sight.
Whenever you invite someone to your house, the first place they want to locate, or that you may want to show them is what — that’s right, the bathroom.
People often smoke, drink, watch television, listen to the radio, read and escape the rat race called life in the one place they are definitely guaranteed privacy — the bathroom.
Yes indeed, for us people of non-royalty, the bathroom is our own throne.
The best part about it is that we can lock the door, and no one can really do anything about it.
