(To Mr. Amore): Well, well, well, I was wondering when you were going to finally stick your foot so far down your mouth that you could kick your own ass!
This is, I think and many might agree, your “best” column ever.
I’ve wanted to comment on several of your little piggish — oh, I’m sorry, manly, opinionated, full of boo-boo columns — but I said to myself, no just wait surely there will be some more cockamamie “Marcus Matthews outlook on life” ghetto-boy philosophy.
Apparently you’ve never been to a biology class before in your life, so you are not aware that a woman’s MENstrual Cycle is one of the most important activities in a woman’s and man’s life.
For a woman it helps to remove certain impurities from your body and it prepares the uterus lining for the possibility of fertilization.
But this is where your information is apparently limited, because this entire process never stops. The menstrual cycle is a 28-day process. Many women experience what is known as pre-ovulation during the last 14-28 days. This is when women experience most of their discomfort.
It is in this phase of the menstrual cycle that women who suffer from premenstrual syndrome (PMS) may begin to experience their symptoms: crankiness, bloating, water retention, headaches and body aches.
Generally symptoms are worse during the last seven to 10 days of the cycle, ending at or soon after the start of the menstrual period. But you wouldn’t know that would you.
How about you go on the Internet to www.womens-health.com, read some books and do a little research before you start running off at the mouth about things that you have no first hand experience on.
I, myself personally, am tired of hearing crap about how men go through so much when women — which include your mother, sisters, aunts, cousins, friends, and girlfriends — have their “monthly visitor.”
Do you think we enjoy this life-altering, mind-numbing, bloated feeling and indescribable pain? NO! NO! NO! And a double NO!
I even heard a man on Comic View, a program on Black Entertainment Television, stating that if men had a “period” they would just take it.
As weak as some of you get when you get a little cold or flu? PLEASE — you’d be just a whipped puppy.
Most of you freak out when you even see a maxi pad or tampon in real life.
I agree with you on one thing though, I am sick and tired of seeing the commercials myself, because when I’m not on my period I don’t want to think about it either.
Seeing that the period is very important and that it plays a major part in whether or not fertilization takes place, you men seem to be more concerned about whether or not we’ve had it after you’ve banged and came inside.
For those next few days, who is a wreck? You are, but you start shouting for glory when we’ve said we’ve finally got it. Now who is the first one to be concerned then, and only then —huh?
Why don’t you men stop acting like Neanderthals, be a little more sensitive and respectful of what we go through.
Stop putting the MEN in menstrual cycle.
Because if you keep getting on our nerves, we’re going to make Stupidity-be-Gone and spray it on your head — the one you are supposed to think with — and kick you 2 da’ curb.
Oh and to let you in on a little secret, some of us can and will when we are on our “little period,” because it helps with the cramps.
But since you are alone and don’t have someone when that time comes around you wouldn’t know that, would you?
And remember if it weren’t for your mother’s MENstrual Cycle, you would not be gracing us with your arrogant, naive and ignorant presence.
As for you, Daily Helmsman, articles such as this let me further know that you have limited resources and information, and that you are just trying to meet and beat a deadline that you will print anything that your columnists submit.
The “Keeping it Real” column is included also. If you can’t put something of some worth in the paper, don’t have a paper. Don’t kill innocent trees for the Helmsman. They can be turned into toilet tissue and used for some other kind of boo-boo.
