It makes no sense.
People have summer wardrobes, spring wardrobes, party clothes, play clothes and so on. It’s unnecessary.
When we were all born, we had one thing in common: We were naked.
When we were kids, clothes were just articles to shelter us from weather. Your whole wardrobe was pretty much all-purpose.
The brand name, or lack thereof, we wore around our collar or on the side of our shoes didn’t matter. I didn’t know what any of it meant.
How much of that would we have to worry about if we were all butt-booty naked? None.
In the beginning, it was all about being nude. Remember Adam and Eve didn’t acknowledge their nudity until the treacherous Eve seduced Adam with the whole, “no fruit, no sex” thing.
Hence, mankind exhibiting our stark naked flesh with pride was the intended way of life. As long as we stray away by adorning ourselves with the “necessity” we call clothing, we will never progress to our former perfect state of being. Strip.
How many swans have you seen toting a Gucci bag? How about a majestic lion covering its mane with a Tommy coat? I haven’t seen any.
These animals don’t need fancy designers or high-priced clothes to make them feel beautiful. Why not?
It’s because they understand the true sense of existence—to be one’s self. We can only do this naked, boys and girls.
This column is not sexist or chauvinistic like some idiots portray my writings to be. Instead, it breaks all the barriers of color, gender or whatever humans use to separate themselves from one another.
I say everybody take their clothes off.
Young and old, black, white and all colors in between, get naked. Don’t worry about who’s looking.
It’s not like there aren’t any places where the unclothed run free.
There are nude beaches and even entire civilizations that function without clothing.
Think of how convenient total exposure would be.
Wake up, brush your teeth and go. It doesn’t get simpler than that.
Washing clothes isn’t an issue neither is spilling food on your pants because YOU WON’T NEED ANY PANTS.
No one has to think about Special Ks or how does this person really look. You already know, because he/she was buck naked when you all met.
As a matter of fact, I’m endorsing a worldwide Naked Day. This Friday don’t put any clothes on.
Student body, show your body. Faculty and staff, we need your help as well.
We must present a united front to show our conviction to the cause of freedom and nakedness for all.
And when we all gather to bask in the bounties of our nakedness, there will be haters. There always are. But I tell you what we’ll do.
Take their shirts off, tie ‘em around our hands and wave ‘em like a helicopter.
Then Kick em 2 da curb.
