There are two types of people who will potentially enjoy the new film Tomb Raider: video game fanatics and those with an XY chromosome.
A “guy flick” if anything, Tomb Raider is a mediocre action movie that underestimates its audience at every turn.
So just why would anyone want to see it?
Did I mention it stars stunner Angelina Jolie?
The story, in a nutshell, follows buxom British archaeologist Lady Lara Croft (Jolie) as she bounces around the world on a quest to, well, raid a tomb.
It’s a trite explanation, but an accurate one.
After receiving a posthumous letter from her father, Lord Croft (played by Jolie’s real life dad, Jon Voigt), Lara sets out to capture the “Triangle of Light,” a device which can control time. She must hurry, though, because token villain Manfred Powell (Iain Glen) is also trying to get his hands on the triangle, so that he can wreak havoc on the world.
Along the way, we’re shown various scenes in which Lara kicks, shoots and pummels her way through sticky situations. Lara must fight her way past all of the bad Tomb Raiders, plus a host of booby traps and mythic creatures who call the tombs their home.
It is during these parts of the film where Tomb Raider almost lapses into comedic territory, playing like a cheesier version of The Mummy Returns.
A little too special effects happy, Tomb Raider continually chooses style over substance. Now, I can enjoy a good action film just as much as the next person, but it helps when the action sequences actually make sense.
In Tomb Raider, the scenes come together without much explanation or continuity.
However, this is not Tomb Raider’s biggest problem.
The central fault of the film is that it’s just plain boring. There is no involvement with any of the characters, no reason to care what happens to them. Even the quest to find the time reversing “Triangle of Light” is uninteresting and dull.
And while she looks stunning in every scene, Jolie pitches her camp too high. In trying to make Lara cool, calm and collected she goes too far, appearing laughably coy and ludicrously laid back.
Never once do we see her panic or sweat, and her indifference is contagious: why should the audience care about what happens on the screen when even the main character does not?
She does, however, score points for her flawlessly on-target British accent (Voigt ought to take lessons from his daughter – his own faux accent is embarrassingly bad).
And on another front, Jolie succeeds in at least looking like an action star. All those rigorous workouts she underwent to prepare for the role seem to have paid off, as she manages to kick butt with the best of them (though if you want to see a real female action star, check Carrie-Anne Moss in The Matrix).
It’s a real shame that Tomb Raider falls so flat, because for all the buzz surrounding Jolie, 99 percent of it is well-deserved. She’s got more than enough talent to back up her good looks (as she’s proven in fare like HBO’s Gia and Girl Interrupted, the latter of which earned her an Oscar). If only she would stick to roles that utilize her talent over her assets.
Grade: C-
PG-13, 1 hour, 41 minutes
